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Jeff Czaplinski - Son of Vader
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| Research: Day 1 |
[18 May 2009|10:29pm] |
Hey everyone. I'm going to be giving you all an in depth look at what it's like to be doing research under Professors Vallari and Tobin at Saint Anselm College.
My first day of research was pretty routine, I suppose. My partner, Jessica St. Laurent, and I basically just cleaned up the lab, which really needed doing. I think that's basically what's going to be going on for the next few days. It's a bit of a hectic time for all involved. We students don't really know what we're doing yet, Vallari and Tobin are trying to get their summer classes straightened out. We need to di inventories of what chemicals and solutions we have, what we need to make, and what we need to order.
Jess made an interesting observation today, though, and I completely agree. It's most likely going to be up to her and I to really get this project moving. This research has been taking place for the last few years with no definitive results. I think we're close, however. The goal of the project is to identify to what proteins src kinase, a protein prevalent in breast cancers, binds. We're going to be utilizing an invention that came about in the last few decades: an analytical centrifuge with floresence detention. This will allow us to take certain proteins within the cells and measure a lysate for src activity while the sample is being centrifuged. Here's hoping it works.
Well, if there's anyone reading this, I'll be back tomorrow with more information. See you then!
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[06 Mar 2008|01:11pm] |
Yesterday was actually the first day in my Spring Break that in which I actually had fun. Not fun in the sense of Spring Break in Cancun, but then again, I think that Cancun is highly overrated, and meaningful and enjoyable conversation with friends is even more highly underrated.
The day started off with driving my sister to school. A simple task, complicated by her uneducated assurances that I would get her to our destination late, and my combating assurances, backed up by my knowledge of the abilities of the Millennium Falcon, that I would get her there on time.
After that ordeal (in which she arrived 7 minutes early) I readied myself for lunch with my friend Katie from school. I would relate her last name to the all of three readers I have, however I know you all too well, and the last thing I need to be explaining to her is how, all of a sudden, my friends from home are Facebook stalking her. We went to a homemade pasta place and conversed on many interesting subjects for about an hour and a half, at which time the waitress came over for the third time and asked if we were finished. And I, looking mournfully at the pasta which, although almost completely devoured, I had neglected for the last 30 minutes, said yes. This fairly ended the conversation with Katie, and we made small talk about this and that as she drove me back to my car so I could begin the journey homeward.
Our conversations pertained to all matter of things but, it being the reason she had lunch with me, the conversation turned, as seems to be customary these days, to my love life. She informed me of what I had assumed to be the case with my friends. I am on the cusp of a love triangle. One small step to a corner of the triangle and the neglected corners will rend me limb from limb. Thus, I continue my self-prescribed policy of non-involvement. How long until I find a girl to whom I can truly connect?
That evening I was off to UConn to visit my favorite Liz in the whole world. Upon arrival in the Love Commander, and after many a transportation and navigational issue, I was greeted by the fellow Jedi and whisked away to meet her friends and make merry, which I did with much enthusiasm. Liz, you have terrific friends.
Directly after meeting Dipti, and before the arrival of other multitudes of friends, I met a... colorful young gentleman with a rather... colorful vocabulary. I was saddened by him in a way I had not experienced before. Although he was intelligent, quite evidently so, he had turned to the path of apathy regarding the state of our planet, forgoing all forethought as to the effects his actions would have on generations to come. To use a phrase he used in contention against Liz and I, "That is what is wrong with America."
Merriment followed, and many of Liz's friends and I enjoyed conversations very much, even as I turned on the Backstreet Boys on Dipti's computer, much to Liz's apparent pleasure. I don't think I've had that much fun in a very very long time.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is, while things such as videogames, television, and promiscuous sexual encounters (the suggestion of entertainment that the colorful gentleman emphatically supported) may be fun, do not rule out conversation. I would much rather be entertained for hours on end by talking to a good friend, moving from one topic to another in a flow like that of a river, than do anything else. While my friends at school are good to me, and I to them, I find myself often lacking this most pleasurable of past times. I hope that, having once again tasted the fine wine of intelligent discourse, that I can persuade my friends to engage in it more often.
And that, I believe, shall conclude this incredibly long post, and one that I hope has not come at too long of an interval. Enjoy yourselves until next time, and happy conversing.
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| Doctor Jones, No Time for Love! |
[25 Feb 2008|12:36am] |
Hey everyone, which is probably only one reader at this point (That sounded like more of a pun in my head. You know... everyone one, only one, yeah...). So, sorry about not updating for a while. Life has been rather hectic as of late. You know, lots of things to do, not nearly enough time for them.
Here's a rundown of what I am doing currently pretty much everyday:
- Classes
- Homework
- Director of HawkNET Student IT Program
- Extracurricular Endosymbiosis Lab formulation
- Extracurricular paper on Port-A-Caths with doctor in Bridgeport
As you can see, I'm kind of swamped. However, Spring Break is just on the horizon! So tantalizingly close I can almost taste it. And I am ready for some nice rest and relaxation. Let me know if you all want to do something. As always, try to do it in groups. It always seems there are more people than time. Oh well.
In addition, to all concerned, your questions are due by the end of March, otherwise the deal is void. Formulate them now, or forever hold your thoughts.
In the mean time, I am off to read before bed. Night all!
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| Current Situation |
[27 Jan 2008|07:30pm] |
Ok, so here I am, in the library, procrastinating on my homework. It's not that I don't want to do it, but I've already done all the FUN homework. And I can't actually believe it because it's been some long, but yes, there is a kind of fun homework out there. For me, it's my evolutionary biology homework. I seriously cannot get enough of that class. And that thing I mentioned in the last entry? We may do it as a lab in class. Provided my cohorts and I finish it by Tuesday (not happening).
But I've promised myself that, if I finish the rest of my homework to an adequate degree, I can either work on that, or read Oryx and Crake (I am really ashamed that I don't know how to underline things there. And don't suggest the advanced text thing on LJ. I hate that thing. It makes my typing weird.) So, I really don't know which of the two I'm going to do. It'll probably end up being the bio lab, just because reading would require me to trudge through the fresh snow, back to my dorm, acquire the book, and trudge back to the library. That's right, there is no hope of me reading in my room.
Don't get me wrong. I love my roommate. However, there is no way for me to get privacy or quiet in that room before 12, if I'm lucky. lol. It's not actually that bad. The lack of quiet forces me out of the dorm, something that would not normally happen, given my residence's distance from the rest of the campus. So I suppose that, one day, I'll have to thank him for his behavior for giving me some sort of a social life. But then again, I'm at the library saying that, so the term "social life" is obviously up for interpretation.
Once again, the first person to comment gets a free, completely truthfully-responded personal question. But, as I have warned before, don't ask something you are not willing to hear the answer to. Also, Liz and Mariana are exempt from this prize as THEY HAVE NOT ASKED THEIR QUESTIONS YET.
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| On the Horizon |
[24 Jan 2008|07:28pm] |
I'm working on something, people. This could be big. I just need to formulate my thoughts on it, get a procedure down, that kind of thing. Just know, something big is on the horizon...
EDIT: Also, it's biologically related. If that, you know, piques anyone's interest.
And sorry, no personal question prizes this time, as this isn't a true post.
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| Evolution vs. Intelligent Design: My Rant |
[22 Jan 2008|06:47pm] |
Hey everyone. By now you probably all know that I am a Biology major. Also by now, you are probably sick of hearing people discuss the idea of intelligent design as an alternative to the theory of evolution. However, this topic has come up exponentially more in recent weeks, and I find myself getting infuriated by it. Just so you know, this is going to be a ranting post, so if you don't want to read it, by all means you may change the webpage. For those of you who would like to hear my views, feel free to read and comment. I am always up for criticism, as long as it is presented in a logical and non-argumentative fashion. Remember, a scientist's job is always to question and be questioned. Also, know that I am a fervent supporter of evolution.
Ok, for those of you who don't know, I'm going to lay out the theories of intelligent design and evolution. Briefly, of course.
Evolution, the theory that has been in practice for 150 years, states that genetic modification occurs naturally over the course of many generations, gradually changing an organism basically through random chance. These changes may help, hinder, or have no affect on the organism. If they help, the organism is more likely to live successfully and pass on the new trait or traits to the next generation. If the traits hurt the organism, then the creature will perish more quickly, possibly not passing on the adaptation.
Intelligent design states that life is so complex, that it could not have possibly developed by random chance, and that an "Intelligent Designer," usually a god figure, must be working behind the scenes to create life as it exists today. The theory of intelligent design is often given argument by the analogy of the watch and the watchmaker. It goes that if, while you were walking down the street you found a watch on the ground, you would be amazed that such a thing had the right time, let alone still worked at all. Upon opening it and seeing the complex inner workings you would logically have to surmise to yourself 'This is so complex that it could not have possibly occurred in nature. There must be a watchmaker which I cannot see that made this watch.'
Those are the two theories that are out there right now. But that sentence, in and of itself, is incredible complex, for the simple fact that scientists define a theory differently than most other people. To a scientist, a theory is something that cannot be proven; it can only be supported by evidence. This is a safeguard in the scientific world to prevent the blind following of one idea. However, just because a theory can never be proven, does not mean the opposite is not true. In fact, that is the idea. A scientific theory can only be DISproven. Thus, it is either completely thrown out as erroneous, or the new evidence is taken into account and the theory augmented. The "theory" of intelligent design lacks this supporting evidence, and the supporters of it all suffer from something called "experimenter bias." That is, supporters of intelligent design choose not to recognize evidence that goes against their claim, and emphasize evidence that supports it.
At this time, let me say that, although I am a supporter of evolution, I am not a blind follower of it. I realize that there very well may be a better explanation for the speciation of our planet, and I am open to that theory. But intelligent design is not it.
Even the analogy of the watch and the watchmaker has a major flaw in it: the watch is not alive. Because the watch is not alive, it cannot change. That watch will stay the same for the rest of its existence, until something comes along and destroys it. However, we see humans grow from eggs, to zygotes, to infants, to children, to adolescents, to adults. What watch have you ever seen go through growth and development?
As it stands at the moment, I still consider myself to be a Roman Catholic. This is a rather hard decision for me, considering the lack of proof for God. However, I often lean, when provoked, towards a Deistic approach to explain God's role in the Universe. That is, I explain it as God is the one who created the natural laws of the Universe, and then let the Universe run its own course according to those laws, while God took no direct hand in the Universe's development. Also let me say that, for the overwhelming part of my time, I do not combine God and Science, separating them much the same way as I separate Church and State.
That being said, I think many people find this Deistic approach farm more frightening than evolution, simply because it makes them feel unimportant. Here we are, the most dominant species on the planet, occupying nearly every corner of it. How is it possible that God does not recognize us? But the simple lack of proof of God shows that, if He even exists, He does not have a direct hand in our lives.
As for evolution, I believe that it makes sense. Not perfect sense, because random chance never does, but when you consider the age of the Earth and the time span in which life has existed, then it begins to seem more probable the more you consider it. Minute change on top of minute change over the course of millions or billions of years makes more sense to me, quantitatively and qualitatively, than the presence of some invisible god figure, controlling everything.
The one thing that really makes me believe in evolution is how it tends to explain, perhaps not explicitly, but in theory, how life first began. When you take into consideration that, although the Earth is 5 billion years old, that life has only existed for about 3.5 billion years (that is, the first living organisms we can determine are from 3.5 billion years ago). That means that it took 1.5 billion years just to make a cell that could self-replicate.
In conclusion, please recognize what I am trying to do. I am trying to inform those who have no formed opinion on the matter what I think, and my reasoning behind it. If you want to make your own comparison, go ahead and read The Origin of Species and the Bible. That will give you the two arguments as they stand. For those of you who believe in intelligent design, I am trying to show you the error of your ways. I, frankly, could care less if you think that God created the world in six days. It is your right to believe what you want to believe, and I can only provide points and counterpoints to try and change your mind. It is you who ultimately decides. But don’t you dare try to pervert science to justify your personal brand of religious fanaticism, and don’t you dare try to corrupt the youth of the nation into viewing religion as science. Finally, for those of you who believe in evolution, I am trying to reassure you that, although adversity may follow you and your belief, that if you stay the course reason will eventually triumph.
And that’s that people. If you have any questions, comments, or counterpoints, feel free to leave them. I’ll answer them, and I will certainly try not to get too hot under the collar. And, as seems to be a good incentive to get people to read and comment on my posts, the first one to comment gets to ask me a personal and probing question. Except Liz. Because she got the last one and hasn’t asked it yet. And be forewarned. I will not hold back. So do not ask a question if you are not prepared to hear the answer.
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| The Road Goes Ever On and On, Down From the Door Where It Began... |
[20 Jan 2008|12:50pm] |
Hey everyone! At least... everyone who still checks this or has me friended...
I know that it's been a while, and I'm sorry. You should all thank Mariana for piquing my interest in LiveJournal once again.
There's a lot to talk about, I think...
On the relationship front, which seems to have taken over this LJ in the past, there's a lot happening. Most notably the fruiting of Ben Raub's prophecy. It's really frightening how he knows things that no one else could guess at. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I suggest that you all go on Facebook and look at his profile. The prophecy I speak of is under his Notes, and is entitled "Jeff's Life."
School has been going fairly well for me. I am now the director of the IT Department, at least on the student side. It's going to be a lot of fun, but a lot of work. I even got a PDA to help me! ^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^
I've also, recently, been obsessed with educational books. I saved about 50 from my library in the fall. It was the book sale and I got two armfuls of science books (my armfuls, mind you) for two dollars. And, after I had rushed back to my door, emptied my backpack, and run back, I discovered that the sign that had once said "$1 a bag" now said "FREE."
I now have personal library, and today I added to it yet again. I now have a book on the physics of light, a book on advanced physics, and a copy of Charles Darwin's "The Origin of Species." All in all, a good time.
So people, as always, I love the comments. And let me know what parts of my life you want me to talk about next. I'll even give the first person to comment the chance to ask, and have answered, and incredibly personal question, if they so desire...
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| Do Nothing and Great Things Shall Be Accomplished |
[06 Sep 2007|10:42am] |
By order of Her Majesty, Joyce Lainé, I am to write another LJ entry.
lol. I'm just kidding, Joyce. For everyone else, you should know that Joyce is the only reason that I keep posting like this. I always seem to do something else, you know? That, and my life really hasn't been that interesting.
However, it seems that is all about it change, for this weekend I am heading to New York!! I am incredibly excited. It's going to be awesome. I'm actually getting decent at traveling, too. And it seems like I'll be doing a lot of it.
But for all concerned, I'll be back in Wallingford on Friday, the 21st. Joe Senk is getting his first leave from the military, so there's going to be a party and various festivities that I will be taking part in.
So far, school hasn't been too bad. I think I'm getting spoiled again, though. The idea of an 8:30 class is, in my new eyes, the greatest injustice the world has ever known. I really don't know how I made it through high school, with classes starting at 7:35. Maybe it was because I went to bed before midnight...
Ok, I think that's it for me, for now at least. I'm working in the Academic Resource Center today as a tech, so I'll probably be able to post then as well. So, until we all speak again, godspeed.
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| The First Unprovoked Entry in a While! |
[11 Aug 2007|06:49pm] |
Here I am, and this time I'm not making this entry to please anyone. ::gasp!:: Actually, I wanted to share a little daydream I had on Friday. See I was thinking about the game Dead Rising for the Xbox 360 (If you've never heard of that game, check it out), and I started to think what I could do if the hospital was overrun with zombies.
Turns out I know enough of the hospital to survive. At least in my opinion. And with my badge I have access to several areas that the common zombie-underling would not be able to reach. I know where the food is, all the access ways, and I know where the surgical equipment is kept. Thusly I have designed several weapons and transportation devices for use by non-zombie defenders.
Immobilizers for knees and arms act to protect against bites from close encounters. Flat boards for holding down patients with possible spinal injuries can serve as either shields when attached to arms, or when used in conjunction with O2 dollies can be used as a means of quick transportation. O2 tanks, when opened and ignited can be used as incendiary weapons, and when used in the right environments, will activate Halon fire extinguishers which remove O2 from the air (the intent being to starve the fire).
My basic plan would be, depending on the extent of my time spent in the hospital, to locate food and weaponry, find a safe place to stay for the night, and keep moving up. My theory is, zombies can barely stand as it is, so if they are moving, it is likely they will not easily be able to do so when navigating stair against gravity. Once I get to the roof via the stairwell, there is a construction elevator that will bring me to the back of the hospital and hopefully to safety.
So, that is what I did in my spare time on Friday at work. It's frightening the things that I can come up with when I'm bored.
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| 11 O'clock, and All's Well |
[08 Aug 2007|10:47pm] |
So, all seems to be going well on the Lady Front. At least I hope so.
As for this LJ... not too many people seem to be checking and commenting. Oh well. As long as I know someone is checking I will keep posting.
I'm almost headed back to school already. I most in with my buddy Chris on August 19th, at 4 PM. What I'm most looking forward to is the dorm. I have a freaking kitchen to use somewhere in the building. I will find it. I will use it. I will be the Man Who Can Cook. I'm actually throwing a dinner party the Wednesday that I am back. It should be fun. And the girls at work have been kind enough to donate cooking supplies to my cause. As of right now, I probably have more than I need.
So, that's kind of it for me. I know, not a lot of new stuff, but them's the breaks. I kind of forgot about updating until I was about to fall asleep. Then I saw Joyce's face in my mind, and realized that if I didn't update she might kill me. lol. And this is the result!
As soon as I know more about the girl situation/get everything compiled, then I'll ask for advice. At the moment, all I know is that she is going to the dinner party, and that the day before we are both going shopping to get me new clothes for said party, and that I am paying her back for her fashion advice with lunch. A thinly veiled attempt? Incredibly so. And yet she agreed. I'll let you all know how that turns out.
But for now, I am off to bed. Night!
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| And so I Return to the Realm of the Living |
[01 Aug 2007|09:42pm] |
I have been instructed by Joyce Lainé to once again revive my LiveJournal. This, coupled with it being brought up in conversation, in a group of people I am not all that familiar with, has shown me that I did, at one point in the not-so-distant past, have readers of whose existance I was unaware. Thus, I shall take the defibrillator to the metaphorical cardiac arrest that has been my LJ over the last year or so, and attempt to cease its arrhythmia.
And what better way to do that than angst? And once again, the focus of this emotion is a girl. It's shaping up to be yet another absolutely spectacular failure of me asking a girl out, but this shall not deter me. Ever the optimist, I continue to hope that things will turn out well.
I feel no guilt telling any who read this about the upcoming failure, mostly due to the fact that none of the people who know this girl have access to, nor knowledge of, this particular blog. Not that I've lied to them about it. That would be against my personal morals. They, however, have just never asked. ^_^
So, this girl was, in the opinion of all who have heard the accounts, hitting on me in a big way, something I have never really blatantly experienced, when I was last in New Hampshire. That is one of the snags, but we'll come to that later. Anywho, she was hitting on me, and she is an incredibly sweet, cute, and smart girl. Basically everything I've been looking for up until this point. However, upon consultation with a mutual friend, and the inquiry for any advice worth giving, it was suggested that I not pursue this new interest. Her exact words were "Jeffy I am too close to both of you and like you guys and I know the fault's on both sides so I am not a good person to ask but I think at this time she isn't a good choice."
But, then again, when have I ever backed down from a bad decision? So, I will plunge headfirst into this future raging hurricane of emotion. I just hope that I'll make it out on the other side in one piece. Or, if all goes well, I could finally find the calm eye of the storm.
If you guys want any details or background on this story, comment and let me know. Otherwise, until next we meet, may the Force be with you... And with me...
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| Life is good |
[08 Jan 2007|11:43am] |
So, here I am, bored out of my mind. I got up at 10:30, took a shower, and had a breakfast that consisted of half a bowl of questionable cereal, the last bits of all the juices in the fridge, and a jelly doughnut that is more than a week old. Yeah, life is good.
Kind of sad, though, is the fact that I have less than a week left at home. I didn't really get all that homesick the first time I left, simply because for the last few weeks of summer I started severing connections with everyone. For those of you who think taht's a good idea, it's NOT. I'm pretty sure that when I leave this time, it's going to be worse. I reconnected with all the people that I shunned, and those connections got stronger. Like, if you break a bone, the bone gets stronger at the break. So now I have to deal with that. I'm most likely going to be posting emo things in the coming weeks, just to get it out of my system. Just a heads up.
So, yeah, there's that. Let's hear it for LJ post #2! The next time, I won't even have to move my finger from the three key when I annouce the number. So that's something to look forward to. Well, that's it for me. Peace, I'm out.
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| I'm bringing ...sexy?... back |
[02 Jan 2007|07:13pm] |
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American Pie, by Don McLean |
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Ok people. It looks like I'm going to try and start updating my LiveJournal again. Because we all know what kind of super exciting life I have, right? Actually, it's mostly because Nicci told me to. It's probably going to be a lot of stuff that you guys aren't going to know about, seeing as I haven't told any of my friends from St. A's that I even HAVE a LiveJournal. So, keep it on the down-low, ok? Unless you feel the need to blackmail me. Then feel free to Facebook my friends and let the LJs fly.
Not much to report. College is going well. Still haven't drank, but who knows. 2007 is a whole new year, and I think my friend's New Year's Resolution is to get me to drink. lol.
Nothing else really going on. If you haven't already, please Facebook me. I haven't rejected a friend yet! Otherwise, please leave your comments in the appropriate area. Please return your tray tables to their upright and locked position. Please keep all hands and feet inside the car at all times. 2007, here we come...
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[22 Aug 2006|11:16pm] |
This is an announcement to all my friends, accaquaitences, and those3 I barely know. I am moving to colloege tomorrow. I know this is reather sudden, and I didn't know how else to tell you all what I needed to say. These have been the best four years of my life thus far. I've made friends that have stuck with me through middle school and high school that helped me adjust to Wallingford after my move. Through those few friends I was introduced to most of you, and you have made my high school career worthwhile. I really don't know what I can say that would express just how deeply grateful I am for all that you've done for me, and there is no way that I can truely repay you. I just hope that my reciprocated friendship was enough that I somewhat bridged that gap.
And so I come to the reason for this post. Since no other forum can be seen by as many people as quickly as LiveJournal, I hope you all check this soon and respond. And this is what I want to tell you:
I am afraid. I am afraid of leaving. I am afraid of living on my own. I'm afraid of colloege. But most of all, I'm afraid of losing you all. I know everyone always says that college it the best time of your life. This seems to be something that constantly overshadows high school. College friends are said to last a lifetime. And that's what I want of you. No matter the distance, no matter the time. I want you all to know that you will never leave my thopughts completely, no matter what. I don't what to forget you, so please don't forget me. Please keep in contact with me.
Sincerely,
Jeffrey Czaplinski
Your friend, always.
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| No Idea What to Do Now |
[21 May 2006|06:22pm] |
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Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) |
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Ok, so, I sent Montana that message a week ago today. I don't know what my next step is. Since her prom was on Friday, she is, to use the rather vulgar and unseemly term, "Up for grabs." I say this is vulgar and unseemly because it demeans her to an object that can be owned, but her and her beauty cannot be contained any more than you or I can own a perfect summer day, or the star-filled night sky. Unfortunately for me, she far surpasses both of these examples, further diminishing my hope.
But hope there still remains, my frineds. And so I turn to you, once again, for advice. Now that she is not saving herself for anyone (except, I pray, for me) how long should I continue to wait before once again bringing up the topic of my MySpace message (which, provided you ask courteously, can be examined by you for the undoubtedly numerous failings that provided her reason not to answer thus far) and initiating the discussion, if the answer was "yes," of my imminent departure from "The Brook?"
Thank you all for your repeated commentary on my situation, and I look forward to your replies.
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| The Waiting Game |
[15 May 2006|04:56pm] |
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Slightly Inappropriate Tree - Barely Inevitable |
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Well, Montana read it, though she hasn't responded yet. I guess it's too late to delete it, huh? God I hope she says yes.
P.S. On a slightly (or perhaps moreso) related topic... any idea who that anonymous poster was on the "Tagged and Released Back Into the Wild" entry?
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| Ok... Deep Breaths... |
[11 May 2006|10:06pm] |
"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."
Winston sums it up pretty well. The end is nigh, my friends. I've decided to send Montana that message during the day on Saturday. That way, she has all weekend to reply, so rush, no fuss, and I don't have to face her at work since I'm going to Junior Prom. Now I just need to figure out what I'm going to say.
So, yeah! I'm pumped! I can do this! WHOO!!
...
Please don't let me chicken out.
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| Tagged and Released Back into the Wild |
[10 May 2006|03:52pm] |
Once you are tagged you must write a blog about your 6 weirdest habits/things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next six people to be tagged and list their names.
1. I check my LiveJournal and MySpace religiously, but almost never post.
2. I have all my 80+ Star Wars book in chronological order.
3. I alphabetize my DVDs.
4. In the winter, I sleep with the windows open, the fan on, and flanel sheets pulled tight against me.
5. I'm excited when I clean my car, because I never know what I'll find.
6. I often apply Jedi teachings to everyday life.
And I tag...
1. Marissa
2. Ally
3. Vicky
4. Tom
5. Abby
6. Ibby
Curse you Liz!!!!!!
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| So, This Is What It's Like... |
[08 May 2006|08:23pm] |
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None |
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I think I may be in love.
Or, at least as close to love as I've ever come. I mean, I had a date with Montana over a week ago, and I can't stop thinking about her. Seriously, I'm not even joking. I don't think a day's gone by so far that I haven't thought of her at least ten times. And it's always little things that set it off, too. Like, i wasd drving behind an ambulance the other day, and suddenly I was thinking "I hope Montana's alright!" or I'll drive by Rt. 5, and I'll think "I'm an idiot! I shold have held her in the movie, or something!" I just can't stop. I was even up until midnight last night just picturing her face, the way she laughs, how she'll try and play a joke on me and it'll backfire.
And when she's not there, I get this feeling in the pit of my stomache. It's... it's like a void. When I'm not with her, it's like a huge part of me is missing, and nothing I do can fill it unitl I see her again. The most poingant example of this was on Saturday. Somehow she managed to get the night off, so she left as soon as she closed the market at six. The whole night, I kept looking towards the market, and the door, and the kitchen, jsut hoping that she'd come out, and then I could be happy. Then, at the end of the night, when all the tables are gone, and it's just me left, she usually comes and helps me, off the clock, and keeps me company, but she was gone hours before.
So, you see what I mean when I say that I think I'm in love?
So, here's my plan: First off, I need to give her a little more time to get over the death of her ex-boyfriend's mother. I think she's almost over it, or at least she's trying to be over it, since she went prom dress shopping today. Then, I'm going to send her a message via MySpace (I know Liz, "Pffft!"), asking her that, given the chance, would she go out with me again? If it's "no", then I make myself get over her and move on. But if it's "yes" then I have to make a decision as to how I'm going to do that. I'll try pleading with her father, but he's rather stubborn, so I doubt he'll cave, and so I find myself returning to that one inevitable option over and over again: quit.
I don't think, even after Westbrook has screwed me over so many times, that I've ever considered quitting as a real option. Until now. I don't want to, but I would if it means that I'll have a chance to be with her, even if it's just one more date. So, now comes the part where you get involved. Please help me plan this out.
Oh, and we have a deadline: May 20th. With or without your help, that's the last day that I can send my message. She promised her girlfriends she'd stay single until prom (May 20th), and I'm not willing to risk losing her until I've gotten my answer.
On a side note, I don't think I'm being a stalker, because I'm not following her around or anything, I'm just wondering what to do. Is it love? Lust? Longing? Linoleum?
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| Steriotypical |
[06 May 2006|11:21am] |
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Green Day: "Good Ridance" |
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Hey everyone. As promised, I shall now (for those of you whom I haven't already told) explain the situation with Montana, aka, the Girl at Work.
So, we went out of Sunday, and I think it went quite well, despite a few setbacks. So, I drive her home (shirtless, thanks to that "Pidittle" game [I was shirtless, not her. Though she does still owe me one piece of clothing]) and drop her off at 10:40 PM after we talked in my car for about 15 minutes in her driveway. So, as I'm driving home, not 10 minutes after I leave, she calls me and says, "Jeff, we have a problem. Actually, it's kind of a big problem. My dad says that if I want to keep seeing you, I have to find another job." I then told her not to worry about it, and we'd figure something out the next day. So, I basically told her that I'm not worth losing the job over. If she keeps the job, then we can still see each other, even if it is only as friends, whereas if she quits, then I'll be able to see her maybe once or twice a week, and only until I leave for college. So I think we're leaving the relationship somewhere a little higher up than "Just Friends," but not nearly at "Significant Other."
On a related note, her ex-boyfriend's mother just died, so I'm now leaving my cell phone on 24/7, and keeping it with me constantly, just in case she needs to talk at 2 in the morning (which she has done to me, but my phone was off. Don't worry, it wasn't about anything serious. I think her and her friend we just pretending to be in the middle of inappropriate things and calling me at the same time.) So, that's that.
On another note, again, for those of you who don't already know, I am currently teaching myself to play the guitar. Boy, won't I just be the steriotypical college boy? Sitting under a tree, long wavy hair, playing a guitar, and studying biology. It's all Green Day's fault to. That "Good Ridance" song is what did it. I get all nostalgic everytime I hear it, and for some reason that makes me want to play it. I guess I just don't want to let go., because I know that once I leave, that's it. There's no coming back. I'm probably never going to see half the people I know ever again. Once this summer ends, it's all over, so I'm grabbing for something that I know I can hold on to.
Well, I've said my piece. Didn't mean for this to turn into an emo rant/post, but whatcha going to do? And to all of my friends, those I will see, and those I will never see again, it's been great. I wouldn't have traded these last four years for anything in the world. I hope you had the time of your life.
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